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She will likely want you to convert to fix the family. I love my non-member husband of nearly 20 years. Interestingly, my parents felt the same way about him. Talk about issues with Jehovah's Witnesses etc. True Believer Mos base their actions on a set of priorities that make no sense to Nomos. I thought I was very understanding and, while I did invite her out at other times, I was very clear that her studies were paramount and I wanted to support her as best as I could during this time. I thought it was beautiful that they included him in the circle, even though he was not a Priesthood holder. I know that sounds cold but if you train under stress for that many years and become a member of a masochistic not the sexual context fraternity like that of surgical residents, then you more easily shut out anything that might break down those walls. Save her and yourself more pain by ending it before you fall in love.
It's all about timing, and you're in two different places. I just feel relieved that there are others of you out there in the same boat as me. Feel free to see some of them as rhetorical. I told her that is noble but she would be selfish to marry and work 80 hour work weeks yet if she does marry I can not see any man who would selflessly give over decades for the sake of his wife's career. We can't tell you that. And occasionally I have queried the wisdom of that choice. Every school events, social gathering, especially weekend calls is making me sad. I've told her that but maybe she doesn't believe me. Otherwise you risk having an awkward mix between dating and hanging out, which can be uncomfortable for those involved.
